A Time for Change

A New Year’s Resolution:
Making each day a time for change
Jenni Schaefer


Do you have a New Year’s resolution? As the last seconds of the year tick away, we often become introspective and think about ways that we can improve our lives. Some of the most common promises we make to ourselves each January 1st involve spending more time with friends and family, taking better care of our bodies, and sticking to a budget.

This year my New Year’s resolution is to stop making New Year’s resolutions. Don’t get me wrong. It is a good thing to want to change our lives for the better on January 1st. But we must not forget that it is also a good thing to want to improve our lives on February 1st, May 12th, December 30th, or any other day. My point is that each moment is a time for positive change, not just the beginning of the year. So maybe I do, in fact, have a New Year’s resolution --- to make each and every day an opportunity for growth.

Unfortunately, many promises we make to ourselves are broken fairly shortly after they are set. When I was struggling with an eating disorder, I used to make promises to myself daily only to break them by nightfall. I had great ideas about how to recover, but I did not make a solid commitment to follow through with any of these concepts. So the concepts remained just that: concepts. Making real change in my life required a new kind of commitment. It required action.

Whether we make a commitment on January 1st or another day, we must learn to describe our goals in specific terms. I used to promise myself, “I will never again engage in eating disordered behaviors.”

After failing over and over again with the “never again” part, I realized that my goal was too broad. I needed to start smaller and to be more specific. So I made a commitment to eat lunch everyday for a month without restricting. I could make this happen. But making it happen required a plan.

When it comes to goals, we need plans. In my recovery and life, I have discovered that setting a goal without formulating a plan ends in the same result as if I had never set the goal in the first place. Without a plan, ideas remain ideas; concepts stay concepts. We need clear steps that can be put into action. For instance, when I became interested in exploring my spirituality, it helped for me to set aside a specific time each day to read spiritual literature, meditate, and pray.

Within our plans for progress, it is often beneficial to include accountability to others. When I made the commitment to eat lunch everyday, I was accountable to Nikki, a woman in my eating disorders support group. I made a promise to call Nikki everyday at noon and tell her my lunch plans. Regarding my work in spirituality, I became accountable to my sponsor in a Twelve-step group. Other people cannot only help with monitoring our progress, but they can also offer encouragement and provide a new perspective. A support team of friends, family members, health care professionals, and others is invaluable.

My support team encouraged me to write down my commitments to my recovery and myself in a journal. I have since realized that writing is a helpful step in accomplishing goals.

When we write down our goals, we must remain flexible. Just because a goal is written in some notebook does not mean that it cannot be changed. Life is all about change and being flexible. We must give our goals room to breathe and to thrive.

And we must acknowledge our successes --- big and small. While celebrating small successes, we keep our eyes set on the big change. At one point in my recovery from my eating disorder, my therapist said that the same small steps I had been making for years were just not going to cut it anymore. I was not making progress, so I needed to concentrate on drastic change.

Any drastic change I have ever accomplished in my life was the result of persistence and hard work. Nothing ever happened just because I woke up one morning and decided to change. No, things happened when I decided to change, took real action, and never gave up. Each morning, each moment is an opportunity for a new life.

I am not saying that we should never make a New Year’s resolution. I am saying that we should not limit ourselves to change at only one time of the year. The best time to change is not always January 1st.

And the best time to change is not tomorrow.

It is today.



[Jenni Schaefer is a singer/songwriter, speaker, and the author of Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too (McGraw-Hill). She is a consultant with the Center for Change in Orem, UT. For more information, visit www.jennischaefer.com or email jenni@jennischaefer.com[.

Leaving The Past Behind You

By Rebecca Osborn

I read this quote by Rick Warren recently that really got me thinking.

"We are products of our past, but we do not have to be prisoners of it. God's purpose is not limited by your past. He turned a murderer named Moses into a leader and a coward named Gideon into a courageous hero, and he can do amazing things with the rest of your life, too. God specializes in giving people a fresh start."

Your past is a tricky thing. It has shaped you .You are who you are today because of it. It has made you who you are. If it was difficult or painful, you cannot just cut yourself off from it. However, to be healthy, productive, and successful, you cannot stay stuck in it either.

Here are a few tips to help you break free from your past and focus on your future.

1. Choose Healthy Programming.

This may sound a bit spooky and weird, but let me explain! When you were born into this world, you were born with a "blank slate." From then on, you began receiving "programming" from your parents, teachers, church, peers, community, and media. So, a large part of your past is your programming.

As an adult with free will, you need to choose healthy, positive, healing, motivational, and inspirational programing. You need to begin reading books and listening to audio and watching movies or shows that convey the value of the human spirit and focus on the potential of mankind. This may seem awkward at first because, even though your past programming is negative and painful, you are familiar with it and even feel safe with it. But over time, you will become comfortable with positive programming. You will feel happier and you will like yourself, which will lead to more productivity and success.

CHOOSE positive, healthy, inspirational programming. Read good books, listen to good audio, watch good TV, and socialize with positive people.

2. Realise That The Past Is Over.

Another thing you need to do to get a handle on your past is to put it into perspective. Most people consider their past to be their childhood and their teenage years. OK, let's say that's 18 years. Nowadays, most people live to be 70 or 80. So that is only 25% of your life. You can CHOOSE to program yourself with positive input and make the remaining 75% of your life one that is healthy, happy, productive, and successful.

3. Realise That Your Past Does Not Determine Your Future.

It is to easy to let what has happened in the past influence what you do in the future. For example, if you failed in a certain area before and focus on that, you end up saying things in your mind like "I failed then so I will fail now," or "I am damaged goods and I will never amount to anything."

BUT You could just as truthfully say, "I choose to learn from my past. My past taught me what NOT to do. My past challenges and trials made me stronger so I can face the real world today. I went through what I did so I can help others," and so on.

Your past may have been a difficult time, but you can steps like the ones listed above to keep it from messing up your present and your future.

Your past does not have to equal your present or YOUR FUTURE.

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