Having A Blue Christmas?

If your Christmas seems more blue than white this year, here are some tips to help you cope...

* If your family is more like Roseanne's than The Waltons, you're in good company. You're a real family and there very well may be arguments and rivalries among siblings. If Mom has always criticized you, she probably will this Christmas, too. Still, you don't have to let old patterns ruin your holiday. Remember you can't control your family members' actions, but you can control your reaction to them. This year use those challenging moments to practice forgiveness and acceptance. When all else fails, give yourself a time-out with a sympathetic listener and vent your frustrations.
* Share your time or resources with someone less fortunate. Volunteer at a homeless shelter for a day, deliver gifts to a retirement center, donate money to a worthy cause.
* Just say no! If you don't have time to do something, say so. Delegate responsibility for the `must dos' to other people...even kids can help straighten the house, take care of pets, wrap a few gifts.
* Don't judge the value of a gift by its price tag. If you give from the heart, your gift is never too small.
* Remember that things will go wrong. Kids get dirty, make noise, and argue. You may forget to buy the batteries, thaw the turkey, wrap the final gift in the back of the closet. Travel plans can go awry, dogs will jump on your party dress with their muddy paws, cookies may burn. Learn that these are minor setbacks...not major catastrophes! Practice coping with grace. Stop striving for unrealistic perfection.
* Can't be with someone you love because of divorce, death, finances, or other commitments? Find a creative way to make the holiday special. Spend time with a friend in a similar circumstance. Reach out to others who may be alone. Or, if possible, arrange to spend another day together as `Christmas.'

This Christmas try to be accepting of your feelings, your family, your shortcomings, and your desire to lead a better life. Share your love, strive for peace and good will. Reach out to your father in prayer and ask for strength to maintain your path to recovery.